No Hope in Heaven

There are many moments where I catch myself saying, “we’re in the future!” whenever I’m excited about some sort of technology related thing or heard interesting science news. One of the really wonderful things about our scientifically progressing world is that medical care is getting better and better. Many diagnosis are no longer death sentences and are becoming more manageable and can have a higher quality of life than in previous decades. Centuries ago many genetic conditions were often seen as something like a punishment from God or some sort of abomination so babies were left to die, so it’s great to reflect on how society has now moved past that and science is constantly advancing. When I reflect on that sort of thing it gives me a lot of hope for the future of humanity, especially for the future of people with special needs.

I would describe the hope I have as a realistic and sensible type because there is evidence for what I’m saying. I have a problem with the type of hope that comes from things there are no evidence for, could call that false or delusional hope. A good example of that is the hope people get from the belief in heaven.

A sense of hope partly comes from a desire for things to be better, and what sounds better than how many have described heaven? Especially in a situation where a child doesn’t have the ability to walk and is told they’ll be able to run and play when they get to heaven. That is one of the things that five year old Julianna Snow of Oregon was told by her parents when they described heaven to her because she has a neurodegenerative illness called Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease. She has very weak lungs because of the disease and under certain circumstances may need hospitalization in order to live, and her doctors think in some cases things might get risky and there are quality of life issues. So her parents asked her if she falls ill would she want to go to the hospital or stay at home and go to heaven where she was told her lovely great-grandma would be there and be able to run around, and not surprisingly Julianna is saying heaven. To put it simply, their religious belief makes their little girl want to die. That breaks my heart that these parents are fine with giving up on the possibility of more time with their daughter because of a comforting delusion. They say they are giving her what she wants by listening to her, but she doesn’t know anything beyond what they’ve told her.

There have been many times where people have told me to not be so critical of the hope religion gives people because it doesn’t do much harm, but I think it can do a lot of harm. I think it’s harmful to make someone want to die. The CNN article about her and her family referred to her as dying in the title, but none of us know when we’re going to die so if you think about it we’re all dying, but by referring to her like that they’re essentially giving up on her (http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/27/health/girl-chooses-heaven-over-hospital-part-2/index.html?sr=fbCNN102715girl-chooses-heaven-over-hospital-part-20342PMStoryLink&linkId=18289967). Many people have been diagnosed with disorders that were told they were terminal as children but lived well into adulthood. Some of them are writing to Julianna on this Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/dearjulianna2015/ and I think it’s really awesome.

Giving up on people for silly religious reasons should be a thing of the past, I want to move further into the future with more sensible hope.

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So let me quote a bad 90’s song by saying “Let’s talk about sex baby”

So I would like to start off by saying I’m sex positive. That means I’m all for various ways people want to express and act out their sexuality as long as it’s healthy and consensual. I think it’s just common sense, especially since I feel having a healthy sexuality is an important part of the human condition. We all have natural urges and are psychologically complex creatures, so I find it ridiculous to disparage people from things like viewing porn, masturbation, fetishes, or whatever sex act you care to name.

I’m not the biggest fan of Sex and the City, but I did enjoy a fair amount of episodes and I tended to root for Samantha with her take charge of her sex life attitude. She also was not afraid to talk about sex bluntly which is different from the majority of women that feel a bit embarrassed or awkward to talk about sex, let alone express what they want. I don’t completely blame my fellow ladies for being like that, many of us got mixed signals during our socialization of how we’re supposed to act in relation to sex. Many women have learned to be passive about their sex lives and I think that could possibly hold them and their partners back from really enjoying themselves.

Like the majority of the United States I was raised Christian and experienced some sexual repression from that (see “Wait till marriage” post https://atheistnerdgirl.wordpress.com/2015/03/) so I can empathize with women that are uncomfortable with sex. Took me a while to get comfortable with some things and talking about it candidly is still a little hard for me a times.

Because of my sex positive views, I feel people can be empowered through the enjoyment of expressing their sexuality. One step towards that is not placing too much importance on societal norms. When it comes to sexuality many think we need to follow what we view as normal in culture and sometimes feel a sense of guilt if we deviate from the norm and are worried about what others may think. Samantha is a great example of an empowered character because she didn’t care she was challenging norms, she challenged them but she was just being herself and having fun.

There’s a strange segment of the left that seem to want to repress sexuality like the religious do. Both sides give me the sense they don’t think women enjoy sex, with one side acting like it’s giving into the patriarchy or rape and the other side acting like it’s just a duty to one’s spouse or only for reproduction. This could be a shocking statement to some, but many of us women enjoy sex and want it just as much as men do!

We would probably have an easier time enjoying sex if it weren’t for the mixed and unhealthy messages people are getting about sex. So I say, fuck it! Forget what others think and think about what gets you off and bask in that. It’s your life and your pleasure, so fuck what others or society thinks. If you have a consenting partner (or partners, I won’t judge), talk to them about what you want and don’t be passive about your pleasure. I think because of the various mixed messages women and men get about sex they are sometimes uncomfortable talking about things and expressing what they want or don’t want because of fear of judgment. But who gives a fuck if you’re judged, you shouldn’t be doing anything with that person if they don’t want to take the time to listen and understand. It’s also not the end of the world if the experience isn’t earth shattering every time, sex is sometimes a learning experience and that’s one of the great things about it. It’s even fine to regret doing something you consented to, but don’t dwell on it or hate yourself or the other person for it and learn from that experience. So be positive folks, don’t judge others’ kinks and enjoy your’s in healthy ways.

samanthaSex